Country Costumes: Poland

It's almost a shame that it's taken us so long to feature one of the host countries of this summer, but shhh, we won't tell if you don't! Aside from automatically qualifying this year as one of the host countries, Poland have only appeared one other time in the Euros, four years ago in 2008, and did not make it out of their group. It'll be interesting to see what they can achieve this time on home soil, in Group A with Russia, the Czech Republic, and Greece as their opponents.

There are really only three Polish footballers (who chose to play for Poland) that I can immediately think of. Of course, as an Arsenal fan, the two Polish names that come to mind are our two Poles in goal, Szczesny and Fabianski. The third? None other than my favourite foul mouthed, corn-hating* crazy, Artur Boruc. Needless to say, I don't have much knowledge of the Polish team, or even Poland in general, apart from the fact that I find their names horribly hard to spell and pronounce.

It seems that every time I've seen Poland play, they're up against Germany and either stone-faced Podolski or Klose are the goalscorers. Not exactly the most flattering memories, I know. Ignoring those memories, I've chosen to use Poland's red and white as my main inspiration in assembling this outfit.

With simple black skinnies, a white clutch, and a draping white tank top, the loudest part of the set are the accessories. The swirling bracelet set with blood red crystals, silver pumps, and red teardrop earrings all serve to add a bit of glamour and sophistication to the look.

*speaking of course in reference to Dirty Tackle's weekly rage list parodies.


Tank top, Elizabeth and James, £125;
Jeans, Liberty, £165;
Pumps, Nine West, £50;
Clutch, Valextra, £842;
Bracelet, 1928 Jewelry, £15;
Earrings, Max&Chloe, £18

Country Costumes: Denmark

The Danish Dynamite may well be the dark horse of Group B this summer. Tossed in the group of death along with Holland, Germany, and Portugal, many have already written Denmark off as the bottom of the four. However, Denmark are a solid, competitive side - not every member of the team is as disappointing as Nicklas Bendtner - and, in my opinion, should not be underestimated.

Having one major title to their name, the European Championship of 1992 where they defeated defending champs Holland in the semifinals, Denmark have fared much better in Europe than they have on the world stage, with only 4 total appearances in the World Cup, having never made it further than the quarterfinals in 1998.

I had the pleasure of visiting Denmark last summer during a roadtrip of sorts that also included stops in the Netherlands, Sweden, and Norway. Sorry, Finland! It's a gorgeous country with adorable houses and lovely architecture in general, and has wonderful summer weather to boot. I've kept some details of my visit to Denmark, along with the national team, in mind as I put together this look.

Starting with a fun printed skirt, I've paired it with a simple black vest and a minimalistic handbag and wedges to keep from shifting attention away from the skirt. The accessories in the form of the spiked ring and lightning bolt earrings add some excitement into the look, an unsubtle reference to the nickname of the Danish Dynamite.

Vest, Ted Baker, £42;
Skirt, Marni, £203;
Wedges, Miu Miu, £402;
Bag, Phillip Lim, £478;
Ring, Tom Binns, £95;
Earrings, ASOS, £7

Country Costumes: Greece

We probably all know Greece best for its lengthy history (I could go on and on about all of the beautiful art and architecture of years past in Greece, but I'll spare you the details), as an economic hot mess in more recent times, and football-wise, as the dark horse champions of 2004.

On the world stage, Greece has only made it to two World Cups, exiting after the group stages both times, and had qualified for the Euros only once, 24 years prior to becoming champions in 2004. Euro 2008, as defending champions, wasn't so great for the Greeks - they became the first defending champions to go home without having earned a single point in the group stage, losing to Sweden, Russian, and Spain, scoring a lone goal in their last match. It surely won't be hard to improve upon their last tournament this summer. (One would hope, at least).

There is one small detail I can't wait to see from Greece this coming tournament, and that would be their names on the backs of their shirts. Nearly every man on their team will be the Vennegoor of Hesselink of Greece. Aside from that, I can't really say I have much interest in their team and will wait for them to either surprise me, or prove me right in my expectations for them this tournament.

For this outfit, I've chosen a more neutral palette, focusing on the simple, yet elegant style of the Greeks. Pastel jeans are in this season and this pale blue-green pair is perfect paired with a floaty, nude blouse. I had to go with gladiator style sandals for footwear and delicate gold bangles and earrings as the accessories. A plain white messenger bag completes the look.

Blouse, Phillip Lim, £306;
Jeans, J Brand, £190;
Sandals, Steve Madden, £36;
Bag, Ralph Lauren, £539;
Earrings, Kenneth Cole, £20;
Bangles, J Crew, £20

Country Costumes: Netherlands (Lia)

There are four main details about the Dutch that come to mind when giving a summary the team. Conflict between the divas - with each other or their managers (Gullit vs Advocaat, Davids vs Hiddink, Van Nistelrooy vs Van Basten, Van Persie vs Sneijder), horrible penalty taking skills (Cocu's spooky ability to always hit the post), a permanently weak defense, and muscles/bones made of spun sugar (Van Basten, Van Persie, Robben, Vlaar to name just a few mainstays in the treatment room).

Look in the dictionary and you'll probably find a picture of Oranje under the definition of "(forever a) bridesmaid." We don't really like to count the number of times we've appeared in the World Cup finals (1974, 1978, 2010) and failed to win. Aside from being champions in Euro 1988, the Dutch side have little to show for their collective talents in terms of silverware.

There are of course at least two Dutch names that probably every football fan has heard of, the first being Johann Cruijff. Total football. Under manager Rinus Michels and led by Cruijff, the Dutch dazzled in 1974, defeating both Brazil and Argentina before falling to West Germany in the final. Anyone that's old enough to have watched that final still experienced the magic of Dutch football first-hand, with the Dutch scoring before a single German had touched the ball. The second name? Marco van Basten. His stunning volley against the Soviet Union is unforgettable.

Every tournament comes with two certainties. A stunning goal that's a contender for goal of the tournament, and tears. Van Persie's free kick against Côte d'Ivoire in 2006, Robben's goal against France in 2008, and Van Bronckhorst's long range shot against Uruguay in 2010 that silenced Jabulani critics for half a second are forever etched in my mind. I also remember the tears clearly, but of course they're not nearly as nice to discuss in this case. I've infused a tough edge to the traditional orange, represented by the clutch and heels, with a lion printed tee along with zipper detailed jeans, chained wrap bracelet, and a spiked headband. The drop earrings bring just a touch of delicacy and balance to the outfit.

Tee, Dorthy Perkins, £13;

Jeans, J Brand, £223;

Heels, Hervé Léger, £143;

Clutch, Givenchy, £795;

Bracelet, Pret a Beaute, £82;

Earrings, Macy's, £68

Country Costumes: Portugal

I have to say, Portugal is a team I love to maturely make faces or pretend-gag over every time they're mentioned. Every time I think of them, I get flashbacks of that match - dubbed the Battle of Nuremberg - during the 2006 World Cup and have nightmares of drowning in grease, courtesy of Cristiano Ronaldo and his love for hair products.

Having first qualified for the World Cup in 1966 and the Euros in 1984, Portugal have made five appearances in each tournament, having won in neither. Portugal have a rather tumultuous early history in terms of results in the time between forming in 1914 and their first qualification for a major tournament. Between the two World Wars all but putting the sporting worlds on hold and overall lack of experience and consistency, it wasn't until the 1990s, with the help of Portugal's golden generation (think of names like Figo, Couto, and Costa), that they became a more difficult team to face.

The closest Portugal have come to glory was back on home soil in 2004, where they lost to dark horse and eventual champions, Greece, in both the opening match of the tournament and the final. Following 4th place in 2006 and being eliminated in the quarterfinals in 2008 and round of 16 in 2010, they started off their Euro 2012 qualifiers poorly, drawing with Cyprus and falling to Norway. However, they survived the play-offs, winning 6-2 on aggregate against Bosnia and Herzegovina, and were placed in the group of death along with Germany, the Netherlands, and Denmark, which will surely provide for some entertaining football at the very least.

With many different civilisations having influenced Portugal's culture for thousands of years, it can be said that Portugal is a melting pot of of culture. They have a great appreciation for the arts - music, dance, theatre, painting/sculpture, so I chose to compile an outfit with a relaxed, artsy feel. With the asymmetrical maxi skirt as a centrepiece, I've paired it with a nude zippered vest, white flats, and a two-tone clutch. I've accesorised with accents of green, bypassing the Christmas-on-steriods look of the Portuguese flag for a more subdued one, with only a simple green and gold ring and a cluster necklace with different shades of green/grey.

Vest, Warehouse, £16;

Skirt, Romwe, £16;

Flats, Topshop, £20;

Ring, Astley Clarke, £47;

Necklace, Econe, £93;

Clutch, Phillip Lim, £252

Country Costumes: England

There's a feeling of both being choked and humiliated all while attempting to nurse a mad hangover when one thinks of the English team. You don't know whether to cry or laugh, cringe or scoff, and worst of all - they're not even your team. A part of you wants them to do well because you follow the league, your team is English, you have an assortment of players that you rate who are English and oh yeah, they invented the sport. But then you turn the channel to England vs. whoever-it-doesn't-really-mattter-they'll-screw-it-up-anyway and you have that nagging thought in the back of your mind that even you could do better than that. They hold on to their sole 1966 World Cup win and have a tendency for the attitude that they have the God-given right to win everything in football*.

Now I'm not one of those England haters without a reason, but after an arsenal of off-pitch horseplay (i.e. John Terry) you can't help but wonder why they still have the loyalty of their fans. Their performance in South Africa left an unbelievably bitter taste, drawing 1-1 to United States and losing 4-1 to Germany. Their abysmal campaign caused the nation to more or less abandon their own team. They lost the financial backing of Nationwide, Carlsberg, and National Express with only chocolate giants Mars left as their sponsor. Manager Fabio Capello was forced to resign but stayed on as he refused and the FA had no choice but to keep him as the Euro 2012 qualifying was too soon. And so England carried on with having little more than a glance from the country and ended their "worst season ever" losing 2-1 to historical rivals France in a friendly as the players were booed off the pitch by its fans.

The England national team is joint oldest with fellow home nation Scotland in the world of international football. They played their first match in 1870 which ended in a draw and it was not until November 1872 that their first FIFA-recognised match was played which also ended in a draw. There is no doubt that the English team has a long, rich, and often turbulent history. In 1938, the team played their first European tour match against Germany in Berlin. The team was ordered to make the Nazi salute during the German national anthem and while the dressing room exploded in uproar, the team had no choice but to obey. The order had come from the British ambassador as relations between the two countries were shaky. The match ended 6-3 to England. A year later, England declared war on Germany.

England entered their first World Cup in 1950 which saw their infamous 1-0 defeat to the United States. They exited in the quarter finals in 1954 after being eliminated by defending champions Uruguay. While the country hopes for success in the 1958 World Cup, the Munich air disaster ended those hopes as the incident took the lives of their most important international players. Bobby Charlton, then future English and Manchester United legend survived the crash after being rescued by teammate Harry Gregg. In true English style, their 1966 World Cup win was not without its drama. (West) Germany today still protests on the issue of whether or not Geoff Hurst's goal crossed the line. Nevertheless, the goal was given and Bobby Moore became the first and only English captain as of today to lift the World Cup.

England's record in the continental stage is rather poor. They have yet to reach a final, and we all know what happened in 2008. Nothing.

My own thoughts on the English team is largely unsure. While I truly have so much respect for their history, the team of today leaves little to be desired. The team are filled with prima donnas and their form is inconsistent. Their focus is rocky and off-pitch gossip fills their campaigns (see WAGs in Germany). So I chose to ignore England of today and focused on the Charltons, Moores, and Greaveses. Passion wins the game, and while England has a hoard of skills - their guts are empty of spirit. To pay tribute to the 1966 team, I chose a sharp outfit with historical references. A peplum top with rich velvet patterns, sleek leather pants, and a tailored blazer brings a strong classy look. Finish with a simple black clutch, army green scarf to beat the windy English air, lion ring, and bold red pumps.

*As said by Johnny Haynes, then England inside forward after their elimination in 1958.

Trousers, Burberry Prorsum, price unavailable
Top, Alexander McQueen, £1195
Blazer, Stella McCartney, £943
Clutch, Mulberry, £450
Ring, Alexis Bittar, £137
Scarf, Mulberry, £225
Shoes, Charlotte Olympia, £595

Country Costumes: Croatia

I have always respected Croatia and see them as a strong side with a lot of potential. I believe they deserve more recognition as their debut in the 1998 World Cup for the first time as an independent country saw them leap from the 125th spot to the 3rd in the World rankings (they also reached 2nd upon beating Germany in the semis). The dramatic leap saw them winning their second FIFA Best Mover of the Year award after winning their first in 1994. Their French campaign was certainly captivating to watch as a small Soviet bloc breakaway took the competition by storm, gunning to third place as they defeated tough sides Netherlands and Germany in the process. Davor Šuker also bagged the top scorer award that summer.

It has been 19 years since Croatia gained membership in both FIFA and UEFA yet they can still be considered newcomers in the continental stage. Both their pre-Yugoslavian and Yugoslavian records are nothing but a starting point as the new Croatian team sought to make their own history. While they have yet to show the same class as their 90s Golden Generation, each upcoming competition becomes a chance for Croatia to find their initial success once more. Their last Euros appearance saw them exiting in the quarter finals to Turkey in a penalty shootout and the nation certainly hopes in making it further this time when they attempt to garner attention as they did in France 14 years ago.

The arrival of Slaven Bilić in 2006 certainly had the ball turning in the invigoration direction but it has been six years since and only this year's Euros can tell whether the now dubbed 'Bilić boys' deserve the credit. Despite their poor form in the 2010 World Cup, Bilić remains in charge and brought them to qualify for this year after a 3-0 revenge on Turkey in the qualifying play-offs. I believe Croatia is about revival, potential, and hope. Taking this into consideration, I decided to create an outfit that takes inspiration from the Balkans as a melting pot of the cultures of Christianity, Islam and Greco-Roman civilisation. A strong Hungarian and communist influences also exist.

The skirt is a take on the elaborate baroque style that became prominent in Croatia after reunification of the country with her occupied parts. The colour black and white is representative of the coat of Dalmatians, which hail from the country. The top is structured, in a soft blue-ish hue reminiscent of the ocean. A statement necklace of feathers, wool knots and other trinkets is a tribute to the rich culture of the Ottoman Empire. The clutch and shoes are by Croatian-born designers, representative of modern Croatia while the ring is a fun take on football and art combined.

Top, Carven, £180
Skirt, Balmain, £5395
Necklace, Dior, price unavailable
Bag, Lei Lou by Aleksandre Dojčinović, £267.20
Ring, Trina Turk, £43.40
Shoes, Damir Doma, £512

Country Costumes: Germany

Ah, Die Mannschaft. Traditionally one of the most successful teams on an international level, Germany have three World Cups and three European Championships under their belts. I don't have very strong memories of the team until 2006, when they played on home soil. Although the first time I'd watched them play was back in 2002, I was barely 9 at the the time and the only memories of the final against Brazil I have are both of the latter side. I only remember Ronaldo's strange hair and the nickname we Chinese had affectionately given him - Alien. (And of course their performance at Euro 2004 was less than impressive).

Starting from 2000, Die Mannschaft have had a bit of a rollercoaster ride in the major tournaments - crashing out in the group stages of Euro 2000, reaching the World Cup final in 2002, and again crashing out in the group stages of Euro 2004. Their talent has finally seemingly reached a steady level with third place in 2006, second in 2008, and again third in 2010. The newest talents like Müller, Özil, Kroos, and Badstuber came in and melded almost seamlessly with the first wave of new talents that had arrived a few years earlier in the form of Podolski, Schweinsteiger, and Lahm, together phasing out the aged (or injured) "old guard," as I like to call them.

I found myself pulling for Germany in the third place match back in 2006, deeming it the lesser of two evils as I was bitter as hell over Portugal having knocked my precious Oranje out of the tournament. Everyone probably still remembers the Euro 2008 final, where a lone goal by Fernando Torres (what is he up to beside flopping like a fish out of water these days anyways?) was enough to bring Germany down, and of course Spain again triumphed over a psyched out Germany in the 2010 semifinals.

In recent years Germany have morphed from a nation that once played effective, boring football to one that plays beautiful, effective football. I remember being shocked by the change in the group stages of 2010, as I watched Germany take apart Australia's physical side with little effort, bleary eyed in the early hours of Beijing. I've taken this shock into account with the white printed dress, the black print resembling a chaotic field of wildflowers and paired it with red pumps, a red clutch, and yellow retro shades, much like the standard German kits of white accented with yellow, red, and black. Accessories include the asymmetrical white and pale gold two-toned bangle and eagle charm necklace, a reference to the DFB eagle.

Dress, Dorthy Perkins, £43;

Pumps, Steve Madden, £50;

Clutch, Lanvin, £860;

Necklace, Lanvin, £1120;

Bracelet, Marni, £249;

Sunglasses, Mango, £20