Transfer Talk: Robin van Persie

It seems that summer happened and everything else comes to a stand still - especially around here. First and foremost we'd like to apologise for the lack of activity on the Colney Chic. There has been a massive amount of travelling in my part, and a lot of Lia things and shenanigans in hers. (You can ask the details of that to her yourself). Euros came and gone, and so did the Olympics. Now here we are closing in to the end of summer and the start of another football season. 

The months between the seasons are often gruelling, but fear not - transfer rumours will relentlessly keep you company whether you like it or not. As expected, one player will sickeningly dominate the transfer activities during the break. Arsenal seems to be quite good at providing said players (see: Cesc Fabregas, Samir Nasri) so why should this year be any different? This summer, we witnessed the classic will-he-won't-he saga provided by the Arsenal frontman and (now ex) Captain, Robin van Persie. 

I have an unhealthy relationship with Robin van Persie. And by relationship, I mean obsession. And by obsession, I mean a sickness. He was plastered on my walls, downloaded to my laptops, and on my lips 24/7 for the past 5 years. Maybe it was the amount of time I spent talking about him to the point of nausea that helped me cope through this summer or maybe it was the fact that I just couldn't care less anymore. Ever since he released that bordering on megalomania statement, I knew I wanted him to pack his shit, give back the keys, and out the door. 

In the words of Whitney Houston: it's not right, but it's okay. 

Now I'm not the football fan blessed with the talent to write a witty thought-provoking article with tactics thrown around like it's Jaeger on a Saturday night, but I'll attempt and give my two cents in the best way I know how. I tend to liken a player's stay at a certain club to a relationship. Many football fans do use this allegory, though I like to think I take it further and better. The Cesc case is easy - he was still head over heels with his first love whose relationship he had ended prematurely, being young. The Samir case was a regrettable one night stand, and Henry's is the 'we know we're each other's love life even if we're not together'.

Robin is the one you waited for so long to be good to you. Robin is the one you loyally stood by while he went out to prove himself a man. Robin is the one who showed you off to his friends and made you sure he was yours. Robin is the one who endlessly hinted a proposal. The one whose closet you dare ransack to prove there's a ring only to realise, he's nothing more than the one that could have been. A dream. A postcard promise. A lie. A disappointment. A waste of time. 

Like the rest of them he leaves you for the neighbourhood whore - famous for all the wrong things. 

These two looks are created inspired by the philosophy of the two reds Robin van Persie has painted his career in. We attempt to embody the spirit of both Arsenal and MU in the context of the transfer through both outfits. The Arsenal look is unique, fashion-forward, and a little on the quirky side. We chose a draped silk dress with a twisted bust that spits out fabric to the knees, calf-hair pumps, and wooden box clutch with a matryoshka as a charming accent. The Man U look is strong, time-tested, and in your face. A rouched snake-skin print lacy dress showing skin in all the desired places, strappy sandals, and a solid black clutch completes the man-catcher look. 

Dress (Arsenal), Prabal Gurung, £789.25

Shoes (Arsenal), Alexandre Birman, £345

Clutch (Arsenal), Charlotte Olympia, £480

Dress (MU), Roberto Cavalli, £1690

Shoes (MU), Rupert Sanderson, £543

Clutch (MU), Bottega Veneta, £1125

Country Costumes: England

There's a feeling of both being choked and humiliated all while attempting to nurse a mad hangover when one thinks of the English team. You don't know whether to cry or laugh, cringe or scoff, and worst of all - they're not even your team. A part of you wants them to do well because you follow the league, your team is English, you have an assortment of players that you rate who are English and oh yeah, they invented the sport. But then you turn the channel to England vs. whoever-it-doesn't-really-mattter-they'll-screw-it-up-anyway and you have that nagging thought in the back of your mind that even you could do better than that. They hold on to their sole 1966 World Cup win and have a tendency for the attitude that they have the God-given right to win everything in football*.

Now I'm not one of those England haters without a reason, but after an arsenal of off-pitch horseplay (i.e. John Terry) you can't help but wonder why they still have the loyalty of their fans. Their performance in South Africa left an unbelievably bitter taste, drawing 1-1 to United States and losing 4-1 to Germany. Their abysmal campaign caused the nation to more or less abandon their own team. They lost the financial backing of Nationwide, Carlsberg, and National Express with only chocolate giants Mars left as their sponsor. Manager Fabio Capello was forced to resign but stayed on as he refused and the FA had no choice but to keep him as the Euro 2012 qualifying was too soon. And so England carried on with having little more than a glance from the country and ended their "worst season ever" losing 2-1 to historical rivals France in a friendly as the players were booed off the pitch by its fans.

The England national team is joint oldest with fellow home nation Scotland in the world of international football. They played their first match in 1870 which ended in a draw and it was not until November 1872 that their first FIFA-recognised match was played which also ended in a draw. There is no doubt that the English team has a long, rich, and often turbulent history. In 1938, the team played their first European tour match against Germany in Berlin. The team was ordered to make the Nazi salute during the German national anthem and while the dressing room exploded in uproar, the team had no choice but to obey. The order had come from the British ambassador as relations between the two countries were shaky. The match ended 6-3 to England. A year later, England declared war on Germany.

England entered their first World Cup in 1950 which saw their infamous 1-0 defeat to the United States. They exited in the quarter finals in 1954 after being eliminated by defending champions Uruguay. While the country hopes for success in the 1958 World Cup, the Munich air disaster ended those hopes as the incident took the lives of their most important international players. Bobby Charlton, then future English and Manchester United legend survived the crash after being rescued by teammate Harry Gregg. In true English style, their 1966 World Cup win was not without its drama. (West) Germany today still protests on the issue of whether or not Geoff Hurst's goal crossed the line. Nevertheless, the goal was given and Bobby Moore became the first and only English captain as of today to lift the World Cup.

England's record in the continental stage is rather poor. They have yet to reach a final, and we all know what happened in 2008. Nothing.

My own thoughts on the English team is largely unsure. While I truly have so much respect for their history, the team of today leaves little to be desired. The team are filled with prima donnas and their form is inconsistent. Their focus is rocky and off-pitch gossip fills their campaigns (see WAGs in Germany). So I chose to ignore England of today and focused on the Charltons, Moores, and Greaveses. Passion wins the game, and while England has a hoard of skills - their guts are empty of spirit. To pay tribute to the 1966 team, I chose a sharp outfit with historical references. A peplum top with rich velvet patterns, sleek leather pants, and a tailored blazer brings a strong classy look. Finish with a simple black clutch, army green scarf to beat the windy English air, lion ring, and bold red pumps.

*As said by Johnny Haynes, then England inside forward after their elimination in 1958.

Trousers, Burberry Prorsum, price unavailable
Top, Alexander McQueen, £1195
Blazer, Stella McCartney, £943
Clutch, Mulberry, £450
Ring, Alexis Bittar, £137
Scarf, Mulberry, £225
Shoes, Charlotte Olympia, £595

One True Look: Christoph Metzelder/Sebastian Kehl

Back to our much-loved One True Look, and we decided to stick to our safe and classic route now that we know the many hits we've had for the Gerrard/Alonso look. Because we're hit whores like that, truth.
No, really - for all the bromances/fuckbuddies/huggingmates/grindingfriends we've seen in the fandom, it's those that have survived multiple transfers and the birth of questionable new pairings that deserves the spotlight. For those girls who has been football fans prior to the 2006 World Cup, we all remember there was a time in the fandom where Germany was today's Spain. Fangirls were springing from here to there riding on the Die Mannschaft wagon - many thanks to the now divorced "Schweinski".

One of the pairings frequently mentioned was "Metzelly" - a colloquial word that the girls came up with that combined Christoph and Sebastian's nickname: Metze and Kelly (Kelly was a nickname given by Chris to Seb). The two were (at the time of Germany '06) both playing for Borussia Dortmund and were both called up to the national team to represent in the World Cup. Vocal about their relationship off-field, they were frequently interviewed together and came to create a charity that raised awareness for child abuse. Both a practicing Catholic, they also had the opportunity to meet the late Pope John Paul II together as the face of German Roman Catholics in the footballing world . Other small, minute, unnecessary details includes Kelly's announcing of Metze sleeping naked while they were roommates in Dortmund and writing blogs dedicated to each other...

The two are quite known for their clean-cut, put-together, sartorial dressing, especially Christoph Metzelder, who had been voted as one of the top 5 best dressed footballers by GQ alongside David Beckham and Thierry Henry. To stick with the look that are identical with the two, we created a Casual Friday work look that is still fashion forward but not forceful. We start with a stretch-cotton trousers in khaki, pair with a simple white pocket tee and cover with a structured leather jacket that has still a relaxed appeal. We accessorise with a luxurious tote in black botox-treated python, stacked cocktail ring, and yellow sling backs to add colour. The black and yellow is also tribute to Borussia Dortmund's colour.

Tee, Rag & Bone, £65
Trousers, Etro, £220
Jacket, Haider Ackermann, £1700
Bag, Zagliani, £1942
Shoes, Jimmy Choo, £553
Ring, Repossi, £358

Team Togs: Manchester United FC

Let's cross over the channel back to our beloved Premier League to pay homage to a not so beloved team... at least for an Arsenal fan. I didn't find Manchester United particularly difficult to do as its colours and mascot are a great inspiration for a classy S&M chic look. As one of the most successful, if not, the most successful team England has nurtured and yes, it hurts for me to say that - there is no better way than to create a look that features edgy in-your-face pieces that resonates on what the team is all about. In the words of Ben Stiller on Dodgeball: We're better than you, and we know it.

Dubbed the "Red Devils" - Manchester United are certainly aware of their years of hard-earned success though not without its haters. As they say, the more successful you are, the more enemies you'll have. What is most irritating about Man U must be how they've learnt to embrace their haters and while you sit and bitch about their undeserved success, they laugh at your lack of. Gary Neville certainly comes to mind.

The colours of Man U reeks devilish tendencies, but it is easily one of my favourite colour combinations. Both black and red are strong colours that need no accompaniment when used in a solid piece. Combined together, they come to embody mystery, luxury, and controversy laced with evil. The outfit comprises of outstanding pieces that are truly bold in its own, but combined packs a mean punch to your fashion palette.

We are absolutely lusting over this heavy lace skirt in classic Valentino red that so happens to be Manchester red as well. While I attempted to downplay the skirt with a simple jersey tank, I thought why bother when you can pair it with an edgy sheer shirt by quirky Danish designers. My favourite piece however is the embroidered silk cape that reminds you of fabrics you can only find in a Chinese opium den.

Accessories are simple yet statement-making: a classic-shaped clutch in blood red and gold hardware, laced up booties a dominatrix would have on top of her Christmas list, and your classic Hermès collier de chien in full gold and rose and brown diamonds with a price tag as obscene as Sir Alex's mouth.

Cape, Alexander McQueen, £465
Skirt, Valentino, £1335
Blouse, Designers Remix Signature, £333
Clutch, Miu Miu, £450
Shoes, Alexander McQueen, £417.50 (on sale)
Cuff, Hermès, price upon request

Matchday Moment: Biker Chic

Self-proclaimed tomboy or girly girl, the biker chic look is one that will satisfy either side, with elements that will allow you to show a few feminine touches while also maintaining a tough, "I can punch you out" aura. It's a fun, versatile look that you can customise to your liking.

When I think of bikers, after a brief stereotypical image of burly and bearded men, my mind flashes to traditional (American) style tattoos - thick, black, and bold outlines, and the omnipresent skulls. This is a casual outfit you can wear at any time throughout the year, with or without the jacket, of course depending on the temperature.

We start off with a rather simple basis of a white vest and black skinny jeans. The studded belt and leather jacket are integral in increasing our tough girl status, giving off the ever-intriguing edge of danger almost anyone will be attracted to. No biker outfit is complete without combat boots, while the chained bracelet and necklace, woven clutch, and sparkling skull earrings all come together to complete the look.

Vest, The Dressing Room, £40;

Jacket, DSquared, £1360;

Earrings, Far Fetch, £204;

Bracelet, Jigsaw, £45;

Belt, Valentino, £283;

Jeans, True Religion, £157;

Necklace, Wet Seal, £6;

Clutch, Alexander McQueen, £1323;

Boots, Charlotte Russe, £27

Matchday Moment: Heroin Chic

It's been a week full of beauty posts so it's time to get back on track to some style entries! This Matchday Moment is paying homage to a trend that went hand in hand with the plaids of the Seattle grunge scene. The look was popularised by Kate Moss, whose waifish figure and sunken eyes gave way for a high fashion spin on a deadly topic. While the look still leaves a mark in the industry today with a mentality of the thinner the better, the biggest aspect of the look - its effortless androgynous quality - has pretty much gone out the window. 

For some, reviving this trend may be controversial considering the nature of the inspiration: a life revolved around a deadly substance. Many may condemn me for this tribute, but it was one of the defining looks of the 1990s, and there is something hauntingly beautiful about it. What I like to concentrate in is the androgynous side of the trend, so this may be used as a rocker chic look sans the skulls and studs. 

We put our attention on the slightly distressed straight leg jeans instead of your average skinny jeans. While a staple to any rock-inspired look today, it was not part of every girl's wardrobe then. The 80s was too fresh a decade at the time to revive (unlike today, though I'm glad a lot of it has died out). 

Kate Moss' Calvin Klein ads showed her in revealing tanks and simple oversized shirts but still managed to look put together. We use a spaghetti vest top layered under a loose-fit knitted jumper. Accessories are minimal in the trend, we skip any chunky accessories and keep it simple with an edgy silver ring, a minimalist cross body bag, cashmere scarf, and chunky low-heeled boots. 

This look is perfect for an afternoon match day come the early breeze of autumn weather when it's getting increasingly difficult (and tacky) to layer your team's jersey. It's comfortable, it's relaxed, and definitely not high-maintenance. Add a parka when temperature falls. 

Jeans, Balmain, £460 (on sale)

Vest top, Calypso St. Barth, £29

Jumper, Just Female, £88

Scarf, Faliero Sarti, £99

Ring, Lisa Freede, £38

Bag, Rochas, £291

Boots, Acne, £460

Team Togs: Real Madrid CF

Hate them or love them, Real Madrid has cemented its place in history as one of the greatest football teams the game has seen. With its rich history, countless achievements, an impressive alumni of prima donnas, and a large fan base that stretches across the globe - Real truly embodies the spirit of living large. For this edition of Team Togs, we attempt to illustrate a team that has carried luxury in its image for over a hundred years. 

The combination of black and white will always be a classic that can never go wrong. Coco Chanel stood by this philosophy, and her predecessor Karl Lagerfeld understood it as well. The all white ensemble with hints of black has become synonymous with Real, and this look will try to both capture colour coordination and images that come to mind when one thinks of the team. 

Without relying to the tired black bottom and white top, we have chosen a gorgeous white skirt with Hummingbird prints as the perfect accent to an otherwise business look of white on white. For drama and flair - something also associated with Real (mostly the players), we add a black cape with crystal embellishments. The accessories are simple and straight to the point - yet edgy enough to make a statement. 

An off-colour diamond ring and earrings that lacks clarity is clearly the new solitaire and black and white striped platform pumps spells modernity. We finish the look with a classic black box clutch with skull and crown details which is a representation of Real Madrid's close connection with the Spanish royal family. 

Skirt, Jil Sander, £732 

Shirt, Weekday, £25

Cape, Chloé, £2,255

Ring, Mia & Beverly, £1,167

Earrings, Mia & Beverly, £1,717

Pumps, Charlotte Olympia, £600

Clutch, Alexander McQueen, £944