Country Costumes: Poland

It's almost a shame that it's taken us so long to feature one of the host countries of this summer, but shhh, we won't tell if you don't! Aside from automatically qualifying this year as one of the host countries, Poland have only appeared one other time in the Euros, four years ago in 2008, and did not make it out of their group. It'll be interesting to see what they can achieve this time on home soil, in Group A with Russia, the Czech Republic, and Greece as their opponents.

There are really only three Polish footballers (who chose to play for Poland) that I can immediately think of. Of course, as an Arsenal fan, the two Polish names that come to mind are our two Poles in goal, Szczesny and Fabianski. The third? None other than my favourite foul mouthed, corn-hating* crazy, Artur Boruc. Needless to say, I don't have much knowledge of the Polish team, or even Poland in general, apart from the fact that I find their names horribly hard to spell and pronounce.

It seems that every time I've seen Poland play, they're up against Germany and either stone-faced Podolski or Klose are the goalscorers. Not exactly the most flattering memories, I know. Ignoring those memories, I've chosen to use Poland's red and white as my main inspiration in assembling this outfit.

With simple black skinnies, a white clutch, and a draping white tank top, the loudest part of the set are the accessories. The swirling bracelet set with blood red crystals, silver pumps, and red teardrop earrings all serve to add a bit of glamour and sophistication to the look.

*speaking of course in reference to Dirty Tackle's weekly rage list parodies.


Tank top, Elizabeth and James, £125;
Jeans, Liberty, £165;
Pumps, Nine West, £50;
Clutch, Valextra, £842;
Bracelet, 1928 Jewelry, £15;
Earrings, Max&Chloe, £18

Country Costumes: Denmark

The Danish Dynamite may well be the dark horse of Group B this summer. Tossed in the group of death along with Holland, Germany, and Portugal, many have already written Denmark off as the bottom of the four. However, Denmark are a solid, competitive side - not every member of the team is as disappointing as Nicklas Bendtner - and, in my opinion, should not be underestimated.

Having one major title to their name, the European Championship of 1992 where they defeated defending champs Holland in the semifinals, Denmark have fared much better in Europe than they have on the world stage, with only 4 total appearances in the World Cup, having never made it further than the quarterfinals in 1998.

I had the pleasure of visiting Denmark last summer during a roadtrip of sorts that also included stops in the Netherlands, Sweden, and Norway. Sorry, Finland! It's a gorgeous country with adorable houses and lovely architecture in general, and has wonderful summer weather to boot. I've kept some details of my visit to Denmark, along with the national team, in mind as I put together this look.

Starting with a fun printed skirt, I've paired it with a simple black vest and a minimalistic handbag and wedges to keep from shifting attention away from the skirt. The accessories in the form of the spiked ring and lightning bolt earrings add some excitement into the look, an unsubtle reference to the nickname of the Danish Dynamite.

Vest, Ted Baker, £42;
Skirt, Marni, £203;
Wedges, Miu Miu, £402;
Bag, Phillip Lim, £478;
Ring, Tom Binns, £95;
Earrings, ASOS, £7

Country Costumes: Greece

We probably all know Greece best for its lengthy history (I could go on and on about all of the beautiful art and architecture of years past in Greece, but I'll spare you the details), as an economic hot mess in more recent times, and football-wise, as the dark horse champions of 2004.

On the world stage, Greece has only made it to two World Cups, exiting after the group stages both times, and had qualified for the Euros only once, 24 years prior to becoming champions in 2004. Euro 2008, as defending champions, wasn't so great for the Greeks - they became the first defending champions to go home without having earned a single point in the group stage, losing to Sweden, Russian, and Spain, scoring a lone goal in their last match. It surely won't be hard to improve upon their last tournament this summer. (One would hope, at least).

There is one small detail I can't wait to see from Greece this coming tournament, and that would be their names on the backs of their shirts. Nearly every man on their team will be the Vennegoor of Hesselink of Greece. Aside from that, I can't really say I have much interest in their team and will wait for them to either surprise me, or prove me right in my expectations for them this tournament.

For this outfit, I've chosen a more neutral palette, focusing on the simple, yet elegant style of the Greeks. Pastel jeans are in this season and this pale blue-green pair is perfect paired with a floaty, nude blouse. I had to go with gladiator style sandals for footwear and delicate gold bangles and earrings as the accessories. A plain white messenger bag completes the look.

Blouse, Phillip Lim, £306;
Jeans, J Brand, £190;
Sandals, Steve Madden, £36;
Bag, Ralph Lauren, £539;
Earrings, Kenneth Cole, £20;
Bangles, J Crew, £20

Country Costumes: Netherlands (Lia)

There are four main details about the Dutch that come to mind when giving a summary the team. Conflict between the divas - with each other or their managers (Gullit vs Advocaat, Davids vs Hiddink, Van Nistelrooy vs Van Basten, Van Persie vs Sneijder), horrible penalty taking skills (Cocu's spooky ability to always hit the post), a permanently weak defense, and muscles/bones made of spun sugar (Van Basten, Van Persie, Robben, Vlaar to name just a few mainstays in the treatment room).

Look in the dictionary and you'll probably find a picture of Oranje under the definition of "(forever a) bridesmaid." We don't really like to count the number of times we've appeared in the World Cup finals (1974, 1978, 2010) and failed to win. Aside from being champions in Euro 1988, the Dutch side have little to show for their collective talents in terms of silverware.

There are of course at least two Dutch names that probably every football fan has heard of, the first being Johann Cruijff. Total football. Under manager Rinus Michels and led by Cruijff, the Dutch dazzled in 1974, defeating both Brazil and Argentina before falling to West Germany in the final. Anyone that's old enough to have watched that final still experienced the magic of Dutch football first-hand, with the Dutch scoring before a single German had touched the ball. The second name? Marco van Basten. His stunning volley against the Soviet Union is unforgettable.

Every tournament comes with two certainties. A stunning goal that's a contender for goal of the tournament, and tears. Van Persie's free kick against Côte d'Ivoire in 2006, Robben's goal against France in 2008, and Van Bronckhorst's long range shot against Uruguay in 2010 that silenced Jabulani critics for half a second are forever etched in my mind. I also remember the tears clearly, but of course they're not nearly as nice to discuss in this case. I've infused a tough edge to the traditional orange, represented by the clutch and heels, with a lion printed tee along with zipper detailed jeans, chained wrap bracelet, and a spiked headband. The drop earrings bring just a touch of delicacy and balance to the outfit.

Tee, Dorthy Perkins, £13;

Jeans, J Brand, £223;

Heels, Hervé Léger, £143;

Clutch, Givenchy, £795;

Bracelet, Pret a Beaute, £82;

Earrings, Macy's, £68

Country Costumes: Portugal

I have to say, Portugal is a team I love to maturely make faces or pretend-gag over every time they're mentioned. Every time I think of them, I get flashbacks of that match - dubbed the Battle of Nuremberg - during the 2006 World Cup and have nightmares of drowning in grease, courtesy of Cristiano Ronaldo and his love for hair products.

Having first qualified for the World Cup in 1966 and the Euros in 1984, Portugal have made five appearances in each tournament, having won in neither. Portugal have a rather tumultuous early history in terms of results in the time between forming in 1914 and their first qualification for a major tournament. Between the two World Wars all but putting the sporting worlds on hold and overall lack of experience and consistency, it wasn't until the 1990s, with the help of Portugal's golden generation (think of names like Figo, Couto, and Costa), that they became a more difficult team to face.

The closest Portugal have come to glory was back on home soil in 2004, where they lost to dark horse and eventual champions, Greece, in both the opening match of the tournament and the final. Following 4th place in 2006 and being eliminated in the quarterfinals in 2008 and round of 16 in 2010, they started off their Euro 2012 qualifiers poorly, drawing with Cyprus and falling to Norway. However, they survived the play-offs, winning 6-2 on aggregate against Bosnia and Herzegovina, and were placed in the group of death along with Germany, the Netherlands, and Denmark, which will surely provide for some entertaining football at the very least.

With many different civilisations having influenced Portugal's culture for thousands of years, it can be said that Portugal is a melting pot of of culture. They have a great appreciation for the arts - music, dance, theatre, painting/sculpture, so I chose to compile an outfit with a relaxed, artsy feel. With the asymmetrical maxi skirt as a centrepiece, I've paired it with a nude zippered vest, white flats, and a two-tone clutch. I've accesorised with accents of green, bypassing the Christmas-on-steriods look of the Portuguese flag for a more subdued one, with only a simple green and gold ring and a cluster necklace with different shades of green/grey.

Vest, Warehouse, £16;

Skirt, Romwe, £16;

Flats, Topshop, £20;

Ring, Astley Clarke, £47;

Necklace, Econe, £93;

Clutch, Phillip Lim, £252

Country Costumes: England

There's a feeling of both being choked and humiliated all while attempting to nurse a mad hangover when one thinks of the English team. You don't know whether to cry or laugh, cringe or scoff, and worst of all - they're not even your team. A part of you wants them to do well because you follow the league, your team is English, you have an assortment of players that you rate who are English and oh yeah, they invented the sport. But then you turn the channel to England vs. whoever-it-doesn't-really-mattter-they'll-screw-it-up-anyway and you have that nagging thought in the back of your mind that even you could do better than that. They hold on to their sole 1966 World Cup win and have a tendency for the attitude that they have the God-given right to win everything in football*.

Now I'm not one of those England haters without a reason, but after an arsenal of off-pitch horseplay (i.e. John Terry) you can't help but wonder why they still have the loyalty of their fans. Their performance in South Africa left an unbelievably bitter taste, drawing 1-1 to United States and losing 4-1 to Germany. Their abysmal campaign caused the nation to more or less abandon their own team. They lost the financial backing of Nationwide, Carlsberg, and National Express with only chocolate giants Mars left as their sponsor. Manager Fabio Capello was forced to resign but stayed on as he refused and the FA had no choice but to keep him as the Euro 2012 qualifying was too soon. And so England carried on with having little more than a glance from the country and ended their "worst season ever" losing 2-1 to historical rivals France in a friendly as the players were booed off the pitch by its fans.

The England national team is joint oldest with fellow home nation Scotland in the world of international football. They played their first match in 1870 which ended in a draw and it was not until November 1872 that their first FIFA-recognised match was played which also ended in a draw. There is no doubt that the English team has a long, rich, and often turbulent history. In 1938, the team played their first European tour match against Germany in Berlin. The team was ordered to make the Nazi salute during the German national anthem and while the dressing room exploded in uproar, the team had no choice but to obey. The order had come from the British ambassador as relations between the two countries were shaky. The match ended 6-3 to England. A year later, England declared war on Germany.

England entered their first World Cup in 1950 which saw their infamous 1-0 defeat to the United States. They exited in the quarter finals in 1954 after being eliminated by defending champions Uruguay. While the country hopes for success in the 1958 World Cup, the Munich air disaster ended those hopes as the incident took the lives of their most important international players. Bobby Charlton, then future English and Manchester United legend survived the crash after being rescued by teammate Harry Gregg. In true English style, their 1966 World Cup win was not without its drama. (West) Germany today still protests on the issue of whether or not Geoff Hurst's goal crossed the line. Nevertheless, the goal was given and Bobby Moore became the first and only English captain as of today to lift the World Cup.

England's record in the continental stage is rather poor. They have yet to reach a final, and we all know what happened in 2008. Nothing.

My own thoughts on the English team is largely unsure. While I truly have so much respect for their history, the team of today leaves little to be desired. The team are filled with prima donnas and their form is inconsistent. Their focus is rocky and off-pitch gossip fills their campaigns (see WAGs in Germany). So I chose to ignore England of today and focused on the Charltons, Moores, and Greaveses. Passion wins the game, and while England has a hoard of skills - their guts are empty of spirit. To pay tribute to the 1966 team, I chose a sharp outfit with historical references. A peplum top with rich velvet patterns, sleek leather pants, and a tailored blazer brings a strong classy look. Finish with a simple black clutch, army green scarf to beat the windy English air, lion ring, and bold red pumps.

*As said by Johnny Haynes, then England inside forward after their elimination in 1958.

Trousers, Burberry Prorsum, price unavailable
Top, Alexander McQueen, £1195
Blazer, Stella McCartney, £943
Clutch, Mulberry, £450
Ring, Alexis Bittar, £137
Scarf, Mulberry, £225
Shoes, Charlotte Olympia, £595

Country Costumes: Croatia

I have always respected Croatia and see them as a strong side with a lot of potential. I believe they deserve more recognition as their debut in the 1998 World Cup for the first time as an independent country saw them leap from the 125th spot to the 3rd in the World rankings (they also reached 2nd upon beating Germany in the semis). The dramatic leap saw them winning their second FIFA Best Mover of the Year award after winning their first in 1994. Their French campaign was certainly captivating to watch as a small Soviet bloc breakaway took the competition by storm, gunning to third place as they defeated tough sides Netherlands and Germany in the process. Davor Šuker also bagged the top scorer award that summer.

It has been 19 years since Croatia gained membership in both FIFA and UEFA yet they can still be considered newcomers in the continental stage. Both their pre-Yugoslavian and Yugoslavian records are nothing but a starting point as the new Croatian team sought to make their own history. While they have yet to show the same class as their 90s Golden Generation, each upcoming competition becomes a chance for Croatia to find their initial success once more. Their last Euros appearance saw them exiting in the quarter finals to Turkey in a penalty shootout and the nation certainly hopes in making it further this time when they attempt to garner attention as they did in France 14 years ago.

The arrival of Slaven Bilić in 2006 certainly had the ball turning in the invigoration direction but it has been six years since and only this year's Euros can tell whether the now dubbed 'Bilić boys' deserve the credit. Despite their poor form in the 2010 World Cup, Bilić remains in charge and brought them to qualify for this year after a 3-0 revenge on Turkey in the qualifying play-offs. I believe Croatia is about revival, potential, and hope. Taking this into consideration, I decided to create an outfit that takes inspiration from the Balkans as a melting pot of the cultures of Christianity, Islam and Greco-Roman civilisation. A strong Hungarian and communist influences also exist.

The skirt is a take on the elaborate baroque style that became prominent in Croatia after reunification of the country with her occupied parts. The colour black and white is representative of the coat of Dalmatians, which hail from the country. The top is structured, in a soft blue-ish hue reminiscent of the ocean. A statement necklace of feathers, wool knots and other trinkets is a tribute to the rich culture of the Ottoman Empire. The clutch and shoes are by Croatian-born designers, representative of modern Croatia while the ring is a fun take on football and art combined.

Top, Carven, £180
Skirt, Balmain, £5395
Necklace, Dior, price unavailable
Bag, Lei Lou by Aleksandre Dojčinović, £267.20
Ring, Trina Turk, £43.40
Shoes, Damir Doma, £512

Country Costumes: Spain (Lia)

Kay and I felt it would only be right for us to both create our own looks for Spain, as they are defending champions of the Euros. Although the fans that are lucky enough to attend the matches in person will be having the times of their lives and have beer coursing through their veins, I will most likely be streaming the matches silently during my Organizational Behaviour and Management lecture, trying to pretend I'm paying attention to the course.

Like Kay, I still remember the heartbreak of the World Cup final like it was yesterday, although I was watching from my living room instead of the stadium. I still remember crying at Gio van Bronckhorst's substitution, and of course again at the final whistle. But most importantly, I remember the hurt etched across the face of each and every Dutch player, reflected across every Oranje fan's face, including my own. I respect Spain as a talented side that plays beautiful football, but that doesn't lessen the hurt.

I honestly can't come up with much outside of football when I think of Spain. I can't even pull up any personal memories, as Spain is one of the few countries in western Europe I have yet to visit. I can't paint a very complete image of the country, as all I have are past World Cups and past European Championships to go on.

Ashamedly, as even my knowledge of Spain's history is spotty, I took the easy way out in creating this outfit. I've focused mainly on the Spanish flag, and as an extension, the easily recognisable Spanish kits. Casual, comfortable outfits are the staple of my daily outfits so I started with a pair of bright red skinnies. However, instead of a yellow top, I've chosen a simple white silk tunic, cream flats, and a cream tote to avoid that horrible ketchup/mustard combination. I've accessorised with a simple yellow bracelet with gold spikes and a pair of ruby and gold crown earrings, similar to the crown on Spain's coat of arms.

Flats, Otte, £164;

Tunic, Hôtel Particulier, £89;

Jeans, Paige, £221;

Earrings, Butler & Wilson, £52;

Tote, Prada, £1150;

Bracelet, Ettika, £23

Country Costumes: France

Les Bleus was my first love. I watched them lift the World Cup as a bemused 7-year old who stayed up until the early morning with her older brother to watch Brazil and France go head to head 7 hours behind our time zone. Being young, I didn't understand much, but I did remember a player that went to pave his way as a French legend and soon became a household name, Zinedine Zidane. His head was still full of hair back then... not so much Fabien Barthez. Though at the time I've yet to discover my love for football 8 years later, I remembered the summer of 1998 to be exactly in three colours: bleu, blanc, and rouge. 

France's 0 - 3 win against favourites Brazil in Stade de France cemented their place as the top footballing nation entering the new millennium. In true French style, they greeted the summer of the year 2000 by winning the European championship in Belgium. They went to win the Confederations Cup in 2001 but followed with a disastrous campaign in South Korea as they exited in the group stages of the 2002 World Cup having been predicted a contender. Collecting another Confederations Cup in 2003, their less than attractive performance in the 2006 World Cup had no one believing they were going to reach the finals.

Everybody certainly remembered the dramatic end to France's hope of winning a second title. One incident overshadowed the whole event: Zidane vs. Materazzi and a little move called the headbutt. Though Zidane was clearly wrong to rise to the provocation, everyone, especially France watched in agony as Zidane walked out the pitch, passing by the trophy he once won almost single-handedly. This would be the last time the world watched Zidane play football professionally as he announced retirement afterwards.

France fell to what I call a post-Zidane syndrome afterwards. They exited in the group stages of both the 2008 Euros and the 2010 World Cup. They were criticised for holding on to ageing players, but when the younger players came to offer their services - a generational conflict unfolded led by the two headed demon, Karim Benzema and Samir Nasri. Stories of unrest within the French camp filled their South African campaign and the players went into what the Frenchman does best: a revolution.

Unlike 1789, 1830, and 1848 - this coup had obvious results: punishment. The squad was suspended, the instigators fined, and the captain questioned by the president. The team regrouped from the drama and managed to qualify for the 2012 Euros. As someone who has a tiny piece of her heart reserved for Les Tricolores, I'm looking forward to see a much-refreshed French squad. With that in mind, this look invokes new beginnings in a parisian chic packaging. Simple, strong, clean lines with classic French icons such as the Hermès Kelly bag and Chanel clip ins. The outfit itself is understated yet packs a punch - burgundy trousers, floral top, and a luxurious smoking jacket. Add a tough minimalist sandal to show that you're here with a point to prove and you might just be ready to win something.

Trousers, Isabel Marant, £195
Top, Vanessa Bruno, £280
Blazer, Balmain, £653 (on sale)
Bag, Hermès, price upon request
Earrings, Chanel, price unavailable (vintage)
Shoes, Givenchy, £636 

Country Costumes: Spain (Kay)

With the Euros looming over us in less than a month, the Colney Chic is shifting gears for the duration of the competition in bringing you looks and features inspired by the 16 teams that will be fighting for the title of Head Bitch In Charge - boots polished, kits pressed, sexual abstinence and everything. The fans will be front and centre, lager in hand, hair dyed and face painted. While the Euros are rather young (established in 1960) in comparison to the World Cup, it certainly doesn't lack the passion and sense of togetherness that its global counterpart envisions.

With the European continent being at the heart of the game, the Euros is sometimes used as a prerequisite in predicting the World Cup contenders. This was certainly true for the Spanish football team, whose success in the 2008 competition cemented their true potential in reaching their first World Cup win. And win they did, as Italy handed down their crown to La Roja in the cold Johannesburg winter. I attended the match myself, and while I blanked out and fell to tears after witnessing my team (Netherlands) lost in such an unforgiving manner I did remember the red fireworks surrounding the stadium when the world was at Spain's feet at that night.

I could never truly forgive Spain, and neither could my mother. She complained about Spain's undeserved win, arguing her case passionately for months. (To this day, she still talks about the obnoxious Spanish fans she pretty much drove out of the Holland box we were sitting in). However, my bitterness can't overwhelm the fact that I respect Spain as a team. As defending champions of the Euros, it's only right that we kick off our Team Togs special, dubbed 'Country Costumes' with the Tiqui-taca enforcers.

When I think of Spain, I think of conquistadores, paella, and Philip II. I think of the long nights I slaved away in front of my laptop writing about the often misunderstood, though undoubtedly fanatical Spanish king for my professor. I think of painting my faces in the German colours as I sat down with my housemates in the common room rooting against those darned Spaniards and waking up our housemistress who in turn, yelled at us to go to sleep. The point of all these anecdotes are collective memories. A country is a bank of memories, full of stories and experiences that may be sweet or sour.

Coming to terms with the idea of memory - especially repressed memory - Spain comes to mind with its blackened history post-Civil War. Taking off from a heavy topic, I thought about the histories that do remain - memories that are more fiery than it is cold and dark. The team is called La Furia Roja for a reason and my take on the Spanish look is represented in the spirit of Spain and its iconic red. The bustier and skirt set with chilli peppers as a print is a fun take on vintage summer dressing. Think lunch on the deck in Lake Como. We pair it with modern items such as a red-hot python envelope clutch and black chunky gladiator heels. Accessories are more traditional, using a gold rosary to represent the strong Roman Catholic tradition in Spain to wrap around your wrist, a cocktail ring based on crown jewels and Catholic iconography, and to finish a retro yet modern cat-eye shades to fight that summer sun.

Bustier, Dolce & Gabbana, £535
Skirt, Dolce & Gabbana, £580
Bag, Lanvin, £825
Shoes, Elizabeth & James, £217
Ring, Virgin Saints & Angels, £138
Rosary, Heather Gardner, £217
Shades, Miu Miu, £225