Transfer Talk: Robin van Persie

It seems that summer happened and everything else comes to a stand still - especially around here. First and foremost we'd like to apologise for the lack of activity on the Colney Chic. There has been a massive amount of travelling in my part, and a lot of Lia things and shenanigans in hers. (You can ask the details of that to her yourself). Euros came and gone, and so did the Olympics. Now here we are closing in to the end of summer and the start of another football season. 

The months between the seasons are often gruelling, but fear not - transfer rumours will relentlessly keep you company whether you like it or not. As expected, one player will sickeningly dominate the transfer activities during the break. Arsenal seems to be quite good at providing said players (see: Cesc Fabregas, Samir Nasri) so why should this year be any different? This summer, we witnessed the classic will-he-won't-he saga provided by the Arsenal frontman and (now ex) Captain, Robin van Persie. 

I have an unhealthy relationship with Robin van Persie. And by relationship, I mean obsession. And by obsession, I mean a sickness. He was plastered on my walls, downloaded to my laptops, and on my lips 24/7 for the past 5 years. Maybe it was the amount of time I spent talking about him to the point of nausea that helped me cope through this summer or maybe it was the fact that I just couldn't care less anymore. Ever since he released that bordering on megalomania statement, I knew I wanted him to pack his shit, give back the keys, and out the door. 

In the words of Whitney Houston: it's not right, but it's okay. 

Now I'm not the football fan blessed with the talent to write a witty thought-provoking article with tactics thrown around like it's Jaeger on a Saturday night, but I'll attempt and give my two cents in the best way I know how. I tend to liken a player's stay at a certain club to a relationship. Many football fans do use this allegory, though I like to think I take it further and better. The Cesc case is easy - he was still head over heels with his first love whose relationship he had ended prematurely, being young. The Samir case was a regrettable one night stand, and Henry's is the 'we know we're each other's love life even if we're not together'.

Robin is the one you waited for so long to be good to you. Robin is the one you loyally stood by while he went out to prove himself a man. Robin is the one who showed you off to his friends and made you sure he was yours. Robin is the one who endlessly hinted a proposal. The one whose closet you dare ransack to prove there's a ring only to realise, he's nothing more than the one that could have been. A dream. A postcard promise. A lie. A disappointment. A waste of time. 

Like the rest of them he leaves you for the neighbourhood whore - famous for all the wrong things. 

These two looks are created inspired by the philosophy of the two reds Robin van Persie has painted his career in. We attempt to embody the spirit of both Arsenal and MU in the context of the transfer through both outfits. The Arsenal look is unique, fashion-forward, and a little on the quirky side. We chose a draped silk dress with a twisted bust that spits out fabric to the knees, calf-hair pumps, and wooden box clutch with a matryoshka as a charming accent. The Man U look is strong, time-tested, and in your face. A rouched snake-skin print lacy dress showing skin in all the desired places, strappy sandals, and a solid black clutch completes the man-catcher look. 

Dress (Arsenal), Prabal Gurung, £789.25

Shoes (Arsenal), Alexandre Birman, £345

Clutch (Arsenal), Charlotte Olympia, £480

Dress (MU), Roberto Cavalli, £1690

Shoes (MU), Rupert Sanderson, £543

Clutch (MU), Bottega Veneta, £1125

Country Costumes: England

There's a feeling of both being choked and humiliated all while attempting to nurse a mad hangover when one thinks of the English team. You don't know whether to cry or laugh, cringe or scoff, and worst of all - they're not even your team. A part of you wants them to do well because you follow the league, your team is English, you have an assortment of players that you rate who are English and oh yeah, they invented the sport. But then you turn the channel to England vs. whoever-it-doesn't-really-mattter-they'll-screw-it-up-anyway and you have that nagging thought in the back of your mind that even you could do better than that. They hold on to their sole 1966 World Cup win and have a tendency for the attitude that they have the God-given right to win everything in football*.

Now I'm not one of those England haters without a reason, but after an arsenal of off-pitch horseplay (i.e. John Terry) you can't help but wonder why they still have the loyalty of their fans. Their performance in South Africa left an unbelievably bitter taste, drawing 1-1 to United States and losing 4-1 to Germany. Their abysmal campaign caused the nation to more or less abandon their own team. They lost the financial backing of Nationwide, Carlsberg, and National Express with only chocolate giants Mars left as their sponsor. Manager Fabio Capello was forced to resign but stayed on as he refused and the FA had no choice but to keep him as the Euro 2012 qualifying was too soon. And so England carried on with having little more than a glance from the country and ended their "worst season ever" losing 2-1 to historical rivals France in a friendly as the players were booed off the pitch by its fans.

The England national team is joint oldest with fellow home nation Scotland in the world of international football. They played their first match in 1870 which ended in a draw and it was not until November 1872 that their first FIFA-recognised match was played which also ended in a draw. There is no doubt that the English team has a long, rich, and often turbulent history. In 1938, the team played their first European tour match against Germany in Berlin. The team was ordered to make the Nazi salute during the German national anthem and while the dressing room exploded in uproar, the team had no choice but to obey. The order had come from the British ambassador as relations between the two countries were shaky. The match ended 6-3 to England. A year later, England declared war on Germany.

England entered their first World Cup in 1950 which saw their infamous 1-0 defeat to the United States. They exited in the quarter finals in 1954 after being eliminated by defending champions Uruguay. While the country hopes for success in the 1958 World Cup, the Munich air disaster ended those hopes as the incident took the lives of their most important international players. Bobby Charlton, then future English and Manchester United legend survived the crash after being rescued by teammate Harry Gregg. In true English style, their 1966 World Cup win was not without its drama. (West) Germany today still protests on the issue of whether or not Geoff Hurst's goal crossed the line. Nevertheless, the goal was given and Bobby Moore became the first and only English captain as of today to lift the World Cup.

England's record in the continental stage is rather poor. They have yet to reach a final, and we all know what happened in 2008. Nothing.

My own thoughts on the English team is largely unsure. While I truly have so much respect for their history, the team of today leaves little to be desired. The team are filled with prima donnas and their form is inconsistent. Their focus is rocky and off-pitch gossip fills their campaigns (see WAGs in Germany). So I chose to ignore England of today and focused on the Charltons, Moores, and Greaveses. Passion wins the game, and while England has a hoard of skills - their guts are empty of spirit. To pay tribute to the 1966 team, I chose a sharp outfit with historical references. A peplum top with rich velvet patterns, sleek leather pants, and a tailored blazer brings a strong classy look. Finish with a simple black clutch, army green scarf to beat the windy English air, lion ring, and bold red pumps.

*As said by Johnny Haynes, then England inside forward after their elimination in 1958.

Trousers, Burberry Prorsum, price unavailable
Top, Alexander McQueen, £1195
Blazer, Stella McCartney, £943
Clutch, Mulberry, £450
Ring, Alexis Bittar, £137
Scarf, Mulberry, £225
Shoes, Charlotte Olympia, £595

Team Togs: West Ham United FC

A friend of mine or shall I say an unpaid advisor on our beloved Colney Chic has harassed and threatened me to writing about West Ham since a conversation we had about West Ham's underlying paedophilic sub-text. Before I'm jumped by some Frodo-looking punk from Green Street*, let me redeem myself by saying that I wasn't the one who appointed Pedobear as your bloody mascot, and named him Bubbles out every darned choices in the world. Don't even try and turn this around on me by calling out on how ignorant I am. I know I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles. By heart too, bitch what? You're forever blowing Bubbles. Never took West Ham fans for furries but hey. 

Then came the new mascot, an anthropomorphic... hammer. Hammerhead, you call him. Shaking our heads forever in your direction, West Ham. Bet we know where you'd like that hammer -... well, let's scrub things a bit cleaner here and move on to the fashion before I scar you girls for life. The friend had mentioned on using West Ham's poor excuse for a mascot as inspiration and the only thing that came to mind was lolita-inspired fashion but feeling sorry for the team, I decided to go to an entirely different route but thought I'd start with that mental image for you ladies. 

Known for its hooliganism that started in the 60s and escalated in the 70s to 80s, West Ham United are still infamous for playing a significant part in organised football violence. A history of violence and racism are also well known in Upton Park. While it's irresponsible to pay tribute to this disgusting display of 'loyalty' - I did want to concentrate on the history of West Ham being associated with the iron and shipbuilding industry. Added with the hooliganism culture ever present in the Hammers' reputation, an anarchy-inspired outfit came to being. 

Our look is all about accessorising, the outfit itself consists of a simple nautical striped tee, coloured denim shorts and a structured biker waistcoat. We toughen up the look again with black studded biker boots and a statement necklace. Pile up some arm candy with different strand-based bracelets with charms associated with ships such as anchors and compass arrows. We finish the look with a claret-coloured throw around bag that can hold both your knuckle duster and Jack Daniels. Throw on a pair of 50-s inspired shades and you're good to go to fight those rotten Millwall tools. 

*A/N: In all honesty, Green Street Hooligans was a great movie. 

Tee, Nicole Farhi, £75

Waistcoat, Givenchy, £925

Shorts, Current/Elliott, £96

Bracelet (Red & blue), Alex Woo, £59.06/each

Bracelet (Yellow), ASOS (sold out) 

Bracelet (Black), M. Cohen, £108.20

Necklace, Jean Paul Gaultier, £674

Boots, Ash, £280

Shades, Dior, £430

Bag, Givenchy, £876.54 (colour not available) 

One True Look: Steven Gerrard/Xabi Alonso

Look at Lia taking all the weight on her shoulders to keep this blog alive! I can only apologise for our lack of posts these past two weeks - I've been down with the flu and now I've been away in Canada. With the enviable skills of persuasion of a friend, she made a good case that it's now or never so here I am posting an idea that's been sitting on the drafting table for quite some time now. After leaving the colour-blind Spanish twincest, we decided to go down a more classic route with a rather old school yet still endearing pairing of none other than Steven Gerrard and Xabi Alonso. 

The thought of combining a well-dressed Basque and a truly passionate Liverpudlian makes my heart flutter as my brain quickly whirs to overdrive, knowing exactly what I wanted to go for. Knowing that Spaniards can't dress even if they were to undergo multiple makeovers, I can save my "Lord Jesus, have mercy" knowing Xabi is more Basque than Castilian. Looking like the man has stepped out of a GQ shoot most of the time, it's easy enough to combine with a man who seems to be responsible for climate change when he steps out in a suit. 

This look is inspired by a mixture of things - I'm thinking your 60s-Lennon-McCartney-chasing-school-girl-groupie with an urban cool spin. In my head, 'Strawberry Fields Forever' was constantly playing and paying homage to the Liverpool-originated band (or rather, brand) - I came up with this look. It keeps the spirit of both men and their friendship alive, which was always charming to witness even if you aren't a Liverpool fan. It sticks to the classic yet throws rules out of the window with playful accessories.

The uniform-esque white blouse and black skirt is a blank canvas for the rest of the look. The denim jacket downplays the seriousness that comes with uniforms, and the retro-print scarf and bright bag allows for colour into an otherwise safe outfit. We take it even further with mint-coloured chunky platform sandals and a bracelet with strawberries as its charms which I added to my own amusement due to the song. 

Blouse, Orla Kiely, £208

Skirt, Proenza Schouler, £295

Jacket, Notify, £265

Bag, Reed Krakoff, £4653

Shoes, Rochas, £550

Scarf, Mary Katrantzou, £325

Bracelet, Lauren G. Adams, £55

Team Togs: Manchester United FC

Let's cross over the channel back to our beloved Premier League to pay homage to a not so beloved team... at least for an Arsenal fan. I didn't find Manchester United particularly difficult to do as its colours and mascot are a great inspiration for a classy S&M chic look. As one of the most successful, if not, the most successful team England has nurtured and yes, it hurts for me to say that - there is no better way than to create a look that features edgy in-your-face pieces that resonates on what the team is all about. In the words of Ben Stiller on Dodgeball: We're better than you, and we know it.

Dubbed the "Red Devils" - Manchester United are certainly aware of their years of hard-earned success though not without its haters. As they say, the more successful you are, the more enemies you'll have. What is most irritating about Man U must be how they've learnt to embrace their haters and while you sit and bitch about their undeserved success, they laugh at your lack of. Gary Neville certainly comes to mind.

The colours of Man U reeks devilish tendencies, but it is easily one of my favourite colour combinations. Both black and red are strong colours that need no accompaniment when used in a solid piece. Combined together, they come to embody mystery, luxury, and controversy laced with evil. The outfit comprises of outstanding pieces that are truly bold in its own, but combined packs a mean punch to your fashion palette.

We are absolutely lusting over this heavy lace skirt in classic Valentino red that so happens to be Manchester red as well. While I attempted to downplay the skirt with a simple jersey tank, I thought why bother when you can pair it with an edgy sheer shirt by quirky Danish designers. My favourite piece however is the embroidered silk cape that reminds you of fabrics you can only find in a Chinese opium den.

Accessories are simple yet statement-making: a classic-shaped clutch in blood red and gold hardware, laced up booties a dominatrix would have on top of her Christmas list, and your classic Hermès collier de chien in full gold and rose and brown diamonds with a price tag as obscene as Sir Alex's mouth.

Cape, Alexander McQueen, £465
Skirt, Valentino, £1335
Blouse, Designers Remix Signature, £333
Clutch, Miu Miu, £450
Shoes, Alexander McQueen, £417.50 (on sale)
Cuff, Hermès, price upon request

Home and Away: Manchester City

Hi all! It's been a while since we've done a Home & Away series so today it's making a comeback in the form of two fun outfits for spring as the season begins to edge to a close. We've chosen the home and third kits of Manchester City as they're perfect colours to use as bases in spring-inspired outfits, not to mention their away kit reminds us slightly too much of AC Milan (and not in a very good way).

Starting us off is the home-inspired outfit. Casual with a bit of bling would be a good way to describe what we've put together. A simplistic blouse, a white skirt with a hint of lace, and a tote - sounds like a primary schoolteacher, no? Although the blouse and tote are both pastel, they're soft enough to be paired with a crisp white skirt and not have it look like you've just stepped out of a tornado of colours.

To spice up the look we've added a glaring pair of silvery glitter wedges and a few extra accents of turquoise and silver in the form of accessories here and there. Silver hoops and bangles are a mainstay in anyone's wardrobe, as you can never go wrong with them in any outfit, while the chunky ring and feather-patterned necklace can be used in boho chic and casual looks.

Cuff, Blue Nile, £227;

Skirt, Stylebop, £230;

Ring, Charm&Chain, £31;

Earrings, Wallis, £7;

Necklace, The Trend Boutique, £37;

Tote, Chloé, £1545;

Wedges, DSW, £31;

Blouse, The Outnet, £220

Next up we have the third kit as our main source of inspiration in the outfit. Every gal should own at least one skater dress, whether it's printed or solid coloured, as it's a nice flattering cut on just about every body type. To keep us warm in case there's a draft, we've added a cropped asymmetrical lace jacket, a funky twist to the normal cardigan we may usually pair with the dress.

As much as we love our heels, flats and a small clutch are the way to go with this casual spring day look. We certainly don't want to create an overwhelming or Frankenstein-esque essence in this outfit! Add a bit of sparkle with some gold jewelry (and a subtle reference to the home colour in the necklace) and you're good to go.

Flats, Dorthy Perkins, £18;

Bracelet, Alexander McQueen, £313;

Dress, Chiara, £9;

Clutch, Very Eickhoff, £150;

Necklace, Pret-A-Beaute, £51;

Jacket, Mango, £45

Team Togs: Carling Cup Edition

With Carling Cup over - celebrations by Reds fan are all but finished. The Colney Chic decided to take this moment to spin a league showdown into a fashion head to head. Our take on the final consists of this: a light, airy - yet tough as nails outfit representing our Welsh side and an ethereal modern take of the 70s as the Scouse contender.

Cardiff: A strapless preppy blue gingham dress, layered with a bold swallow-print jacket is a take on the ever reigning print on print. Accessories are gold-themed, and the cuff stays in line with Cardiff's swallow mascot. We believe an outfit is incomplete without a bit of oddity - and so the decision to give the outfit white tights and ballet flats. Yes, someone may shoot us.

Dress, Abercrombie & Fitch, £49
Jacket, Monsoon, £59
Clutch, ASOS, £35
Flats, Chloé, £216
Tights, Nordstorm, £7.50
Cuff, Relic, £7.50

Liverpool: We know, we know a sheer maxi double skirt... it's that trend you'd love to be able to pull off but know you'll just look like a tool doing. In this case as an inspired outfit - anything goes. Forget black, we focus on the maxi skirt as the centre of the outfit - bright iconic Liverpool red. As chiffon makes you think of evening dresses, we take down the material with a simple statement tee. Pair it with an off-white blazer and earthy accessories such as a straw clutch and wooden platforms and you're good to go.

Skirt, Desire Clothing, £24
Tee, Wildfox Couture, £40
Blazer, Topshop, £50
Platforms, Topshop, £85
Clutch, Warehouse, £28
Bracelets, H&M, £3.99