One True Look: Cesc Fàbregas/Gerard Piqué

To my horror, Kay insisted I do an OTL of the anomalously* popular "Fabrique." Although I must have accidentally-on-purpose forgotten about this assignment at least three times when we discussed our to-do lists for the blog, it would be safe to say that it never slipped her mind. So here I am, still grumbling about having grabbed a straw so short that it's in danger of permanently popping out of existence, but having accepted my fate. You may think I'm saying this like it's the end of the fashion world - well, it is.

I admit I don't even know much about the much hyped Fabrique. Now, I'm not one of those disillusioned Gooners that declared undying hatred for both Cesc and Barca once he made his transfer back to Barcelona (although I do think he could have handled the entire situation a bit better, the media is a hard pack of drama llamas to control), so my aversion to the pairing really has no standard explanation. The only impressions I have of Piqué are his (to me) donkey-like appearance and his unfortunate habit of bleeding more easily than Sharpie through printer paper, and the only memory I really have of him is of him and Puyol pulling a Barcelona shirt on then-Gunner Fàbregas. Not a very popular overall view of him, to say the least. On the other hand, I know everything from Cesc's love for doughnuts to his almost irrational aversion to mushrooms.

Pluck any five random Spanish footballers out of a line and what will they have in common? Horribly greasy hair, the belief that they've got impeccable taste in clothes while actually having an abomination of a "sense" of style. Gerard Piqué and Cesc Fàbregas are no exceptions to the rule, and I would be lying if I said I wasn't initially stumped over what route I should take for their outfit. I avoided searching the Fabrique tag on tumblr like it was the plague, so I eventually settled on choosing the exact opposite of what I thought would match within the outfit. Pretty much the equivalent of closing my eyes and pointing at a random article of clothing or piece of jewellery from their respective piles.

I started off with the fringed fading sunset cropped tee - something, along with the brash "sexy" ring, only a fashion-challenged Spaniard could  pick up thinking they could rock it, and paired it with standard boyfriend jeans. Add a hipster mustache tote and braided bracelet and they'll think they're keeping up with the trends. A pair of distressed wannabe-biker boots rounds off the mismatched look.

*Sorry, my maths is showing. 

Tee, Monki, £16;

Bracelet, Emanuele Bicocchi, £159;

Jeans, H&M, £30;

Tote, Etsy, £7.50;

Ring, Deb, £7;

Boots, Pierre Balmain, £944

One True Look: Christoph Metzelder/Sebastian Kehl

Back to our much-loved One True Look, and we decided to stick to our safe and classic route now that we know the many hits we've had for the Gerrard/Alonso look. Because we're hit whores like that, truth.
No, really - for all the bromances/fuckbuddies/huggingmates/grindingfriends we've seen in the fandom, it's those that have survived multiple transfers and the birth of questionable new pairings that deserves the spotlight. For those girls who has been football fans prior to the 2006 World Cup, we all remember there was a time in the fandom where Germany was today's Spain. Fangirls were springing from here to there riding on the Die Mannschaft wagon - many thanks to the now divorced "Schweinski".

One of the pairings frequently mentioned was "Metzelly" - a colloquial word that the girls came up with that combined Christoph and Sebastian's nickname: Metze and Kelly (Kelly was a nickname given by Chris to Seb). The two were (at the time of Germany '06) both playing for Borussia Dortmund and were both called up to the national team to represent in the World Cup. Vocal about their relationship off-field, they were frequently interviewed together and came to create a charity that raised awareness for child abuse. Both a practicing Catholic, they also had the opportunity to meet the late Pope John Paul II together as the face of German Roman Catholics in the footballing world . Other small, minute, unnecessary details includes Kelly's announcing of Metze sleeping naked while they were roommates in Dortmund and writing blogs dedicated to each other...

The two are quite known for their clean-cut, put-together, sartorial dressing, especially Christoph Metzelder, who had been voted as one of the top 5 best dressed footballers by GQ alongside David Beckham and Thierry Henry. To stick with the look that are identical with the two, we created a Casual Friday work look that is still fashion forward but not forceful. We start with a stretch-cotton trousers in khaki, pair with a simple white pocket tee and cover with a structured leather jacket that has still a relaxed appeal. We accessorise with a luxurious tote in black botox-treated python, stacked cocktail ring, and yellow sling backs to add colour. The black and yellow is also tribute to Borussia Dortmund's colour.

Tee, Rag & Bone, £65
Trousers, Etro, £220
Jacket, Haider Ackermann, £1700
Bag, Zagliani, £1942
Shoes, Jimmy Choo, £553
Ring, Repossi, £358

One True Look: Steven Gerrard/Xabi Alonso

Look at Lia taking all the weight on her shoulders to keep this blog alive! I can only apologise for our lack of posts these past two weeks - I've been down with the flu and now I've been away in Canada. With the enviable skills of persuasion of a friend, she made a good case that it's now or never so here I am posting an idea that's been sitting on the drafting table for quite some time now. After leaving the colour-blind Spanish twincest, we decided to go down a more classic route with a rather old school yet still endearing pairing of none other than Steven Gerrard and Xabi Alonso. 

The thought of combining a well-dressed Basque and a truly passionate Liverpudlian makes my heart flutter as my brain quickly whirs to overdrive, knowing exactly what I wanted to go for. Knowing that Spaniards can't dress even if they were to undergo multiple makeovers, I can save my "Lord Jesus, have mercy" knowing Xabi is more Basque than Castilian. Looking like the man has stepped out of a GQ shoot most of the time, it's easy enough to combine with a man who seems to be responsible for climate change when he steps out in a suit. 

This look is inspired by a mixture of things - I'm thinking your 60s-Lennon-McCartney-chasing-school-girl-groupie with an urban cool spin. In my head, 'Strawberry Fields Forever' was constantly playing and paying homage to the Liverpool-originated band (or rather, brand) - I came up with this look. It keeps the spirit of both men and their friendship alive, which was always charming to witness even if you aren't a Liverpool fan. It sticks to the classic yet throws rules out of the window with playful accessories.

The uniform-esque white blouse and black skirt is a blank canvas for the rest of the look. The denim jacket downplays the seriousness that comes with uniforms, and the retro-print scarf and bright bag allows for colour into an otherwise safe outfit. We take it even further with mint-coloured chunky platform sandals and a bracelet with strawberries as its charms which I added to my own amusement due to the song. 

Blouse, Orla Kiely, £208

Skirt, Proenza Schouler, £295

Jacket, Notify, £265

Bag, Reed Krakoff, £4653

Shoes, Rochas, £550

Scarf, Mary Katrantzou, £325

Bracelet, Lauren G. Adams, £55

One True Look: Robin van Persie/Klaas-Jan Huntelaar

Disclaimer: I've been coerced into making this post by Kay. I am not responsible for any mental scarring that may have occurred upon seeing this Fendi bag.

We're continuing our One True Look series with two of our favourite Oranje boys, who are as different as, well, different can be. Think of clashing on Real Madrid-Barcelona or Arsenal-Tottenham levels. Ajacied meets Feyenoorder, inner city boy meets country boy, teetotaler meets functioning alcoholic, plaid meets bling bling (in the words of Per Mertesacker) - combinations that will always bring lots of drama. In this case, bringing together our favourite guido impersonator and our resident hipster truly does produce an, ahem, interesting combination for this outfit.

With Van Persie's penchant for not owning a single article of clothing that doesn't clash with everything else in his closet and Huntelaar's drunken farmboy antics, any outfit created with both of them in mind is bound to be just a bit out there, like a penguin in the desert.

The split between the styles of this set is rather clear - the oh-so-ironic "I like cats" sweatshirt a reference to Robin's Cheetah, and the eye-watering peacock bag bowing down to his preference for Ed Hardy tees and shoes and "dress" shirts that look like they've been attacked by kids armed with felt tip markers, while the beret, coloured skinnies, leather wrap bracelet, and converse all but scream "hipster (and therefore Klaas-Jan) alert!" Although the bag is of course the bane of any fashionista's existence, we feel you could rock this ensemble after two or three or five drinks. We've put a ring on the look with the stacked ring strangely reminiscent of Chinese finger traps.

Ring, Dorthy Perkins, £9;

Bag, Fendi, price unavailable;

Bracelet, Calypso St. Barth, £117;

Sweatshirt, Etsy, £16;

Skinny jeans, Ted Baker, £90;

Beret, Forever 21, £5;

Shoes, Converse, £68

One True Look: David Villa/David Silva

While the idea of slash in football is common and amusing to most girls dwelling in the black hole that is the internet football fandom, there are those who completely disregard it and look at it in grave disgust. Just to give our two cents, The Colney Chic thinks man on man is abso-effing-lutely sexy. And if most men out there can openly say they are turned on by female on female fantasies - then what's the bloody difference for us sisters? Add something we're passionate about, and you've got yourself an unlimited quantity of mind erotica to survive off. I have a right to get off on manpiles, thank you very much. 

In addition to all that, One True Look is about challenging us further in what one can do when given such a trivial inspiration. Enter the OTP styling idea - and we start our series with the Davids of Valencia: David Villa and David Silva. While I'm not entirely familiar with this pairing, I admit it's always a joy to shout "über-gay" at the mention of them in a typical fangirling conversation. Take two stylistically-challenged Spaniards - load them up with offensive t-shirts written in sparkly fonts and possibly a whole crate of Rioja then you've got yourself a 21st century Romeo and Juliet. 

I struggled for the first half an hour and finally gave in and resorted to 'silvilla' tagged entries on tumblr. At that point I regretted ever asking what these two were all about - just one thing: OTT and proud of it. So I took the simplest can't-go-wrong uniform of jeans, blazer, and tee and gave it the Silvilla treatment. What happened was well.... a bunch of things. I'd like to say it's wearable - but trust me, I will shoot a bitch who gets out of the house looking like this - but then I got it completely right because that's mostly the reaction we get out of the two Davids in their off-duty drabs. 

We start with simple black skinnies that's not quite simple at all - with an old-washed look and panelled surface, it's probably already sitting in Alex Gerrard's closet. We pair it with a statement tee saying nothing but a classy "fuck off", cover with an ombre-treated leopard print blazer. We complete the look with high-heeled boots, purple-tinted aviators, cross and wing earrings, and your overly worn, tired, yet still forcing to be a must-have bag - Balenciaga City in Valencian orange. 

Jeans, Balmain, £645

Tee, Bamboo Linne, (item no longer available)

Blazer, Preen Line, £400

Boots, Dsquared2, price unavailable

Bag, Balenciaga, £958

Earrings, Emilio Pucci, £175

Sunglasses, Dior, £279